Kiss and Love?

The title for this posting is something that I wrote down a while ago. But now I can't remember what it meant to me. I think that sums up the feelings and thoughts to be set forth here -->

Mz. Stonehill, my darling 12th grade Engligh teach, focused endlessly on Romantic poets contra Classical ones. All I know on the subject is what she's told me. Which is: the Romantics appreciate the high highs, the low lows, and nature, while the Classicals are balanced, intellectual, and witty. Now, pay close attention wording here: Bard makes me think I feel like a Romantic. I came here intending to bolster my Classicism and creativity, but I'm starting to think that this environment, or the atmosphere I've created out of this environment, isn't condusive to that. Or maybe those two things aren't condusive to each other. The kind of creative ideas I want don't come from thinking, they just come. The kind of Classical ideas I want need time for me to sit down and seriously think. Both of these ideas need freedom from homework concerns, useless distractions, and general laziness. There are times when I feel the high of finding that freedom and others when I feel the opposite. I want to appreciate art, read poetry, write poetry, watch movies, write movies, make movies, hang out with friends, play games, get high, get girls, do well in school so I can have the option of transferring. They all conflict. I think. The problem is time. I think.

so this is civilization

some chubby guy being chubby,
throwing his cigarette in the grass
and
flies and tree and cloud
layered and individually societizing
or
wanting to be known and
the simultaneous subject of a poem
and slash or
"that guy is looking at me"
or at everything but me, intentionally
ampersand slash or
questions and answers
progressively, digressively, aggressively vaguer
& slash or
a calendar, a religion, a government
rules for rulemakers, like ingredients in a recipe!?
&/
like nothing else
like thinking you want to know what it's like
to feel what another person is thinking they want
&